Tuesday, February 15, 2011

75% happy w/news--kinda, but 100% CONFUSSED!

Results are in:

1. white blood counts look good
2. liver enzymes still elevated, but haven't changed in a few months so we will wait on a liver biopsy (great news for me!)
3. The 1 gene they tested is normal, so it might not be PMD. It was explained to me that 75% of children  with PMD ( just 1 form of leukodystrophy) get a diagnosis with this 1 gene test that Ryder had (looking for deletions), 20% are diagnosised after testing the same gene for mutations and 5% (for duplications I believe). So the 1 test for deletions came back normal.....

So good news, bad news and no new news all rolled up in one I guess!

I'm still concerned about all of the pieces to Ryder's health mystery....
nystagmus
hypotonic
abnormal white brain matter
ataxia
tremor (mainly hands & arms)
elevated liver enzymes (doctors aren't sure if his liver or muscle tissues are causing this)
enlarged lymph node (since birth/remains unchanged..but white blood counts are good)
developmental delays- no speech, can't stand independently or walk, unbalanced and still can't look at, point to/find Mommy and Daddy.

Ryder is 17months old. Most of the time he is a happy boy and has developed an attitude w/ giving dirty looks an all to get his point across!

I guess I need to process all this info for a few days to decide the next steps and talk with the doctors about what they think. Any suggestions from anyone?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Brave Little Soul

I cant sleep (again tonight) even though I am exhausted! My mind is racing and still no word on any results. Ryder got a DSI therapist today and he is now at 4 hours a week of therapy. I am staying organized and on top of everything. The therapist are all wonderful with different strategies and ideas- I love that and Ryder can only benefit from a broad prospective of ideas to help him:) So far, he has a good team helping him. It is hard to explain leukodystrophy to the therapist though. It is so rare--even most doctors aren't knowledgeable about this horrible disorder. I have taught Special Education (ED, Autism, LD, BD) for 11 years plus another 4 years of in-home Hab work. I have never heard of leukodystrophy until now. I was very passionate about teaching children with autism for so many years. As a teacher, I am trying to figure out the best way to teach children with leukodystrophy. Without the true understanding of this disorder, I feel a teacher may get frustrated with the regressive nature of leukodystrophy. They may not understand that one day the child may walk or have a skill and lose it the next. They may call the child lazy or manipulative. I will understand Ryder and how he learns and most importantly maintains his skills. As a parent with a very special child, I want to maintain his current skills for as long as I can. Of course we will work on progressing his skills. Every day brings new ups and downs so far. I have hope...but more importantly--I have acceptance. Ryder is so very amazing and I wouldn't change a thing!!!! My family is my world!!!!  Since I do have an education background, I want to start developing a way to teach children affected by leukodystrophy--it is a goal in progress:)

Well, I am rambling, so I will attempt to go to bed--again! I will leave you with this awesome email I received from a friend that I like to look at now and again:)

I'll keep you updated on results (when they FINALLY come:)


The Brave Little Soul
John Alessi
Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. She especially enjoyed the love she saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day she saw suffering in the world. She approached God and sadly asked, “Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?” God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people’s hearts.” The little soul was confused. “What do you mean,” she asked.” God replied, “Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.” The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, “The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love – to create this miracle - for the good of all humanity." Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain herself. With her wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s hearts! I want to create that miracle!" God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you. God and the brave little soul shared a smile, and then embraced. In parting, God said, “Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.” Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through her suffering and God’s strength, she unlocked the goodness and love in people’s hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys – some regained lost faith – many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. God was pleased.