Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Different ways of dealing

Within our family we all have different ways of dealing with this news of Ryder's health. We haven't shared everything with Ty and Noah..just waiting to see what more results tell us. We really want to keep their lives as normal as possible. They do know that brother got pictures of his brain and the doctors and Mommy & Daddy are trying to figure out what’s wrong. Tyler (6) is our sensitive & smart beyond his years child. He is picking up on our stress---even though I'm trying so hard to be strong for him. He asked me a few days ago what I did to Ryder when he was in my tummy to make his brain hurt and why I would hurt him. We showed him how a brain develops on YouTube and that it’s not Mommy's fault. (YES--he is that smart & curious to learn about brain development :) Noah (4), on the other hand, doesn't understand what is going on. He is acting up at school and getting into trouble A LOT!!! Not sure if it's attention seeking or just our Noah's colors shining through :) Les seems to be in denial still. Hard for me to write--but he seems positive, stressed, sad, quiet, and supporting all at the same time. He is in need of some mountain biking I think:) He will be racing in a few weeks and he is really excited. I am okay at this moment. The first few days I was devastated. I couldn't talk to anyone and shared the news (even with mom, sisters & bros) through text. I couldn't even catch a breath to talk. The past few days I felt stronger and ready to do everything I can to find answers and help all my boys. Today was up and down with emotions. A friend who went through losing a child told me the many emotions we'll go through---few steps forward and backwards again..... God please give me the strength!!! We have had soooooo much support and people asking what they can do to help. I will write a blog of things people can do to help in the next few days---hard to think of at the top of my head, but I do know we need help emotional, financially and research wise. People have listed great ideas on FB like garage sales, meals, raffle fundraisers, babysitting. Please know that this is greatly needed and appreciated.